Age Jokes One Liners

Welcome to our funny page of Age Jokes One Liners that will help us wrinklies laugh! As this way the whole world will laugh with us and laughter is the best medicine after all. All with good humor and smiles and to be taken with a pinch of salt as no insults intended. Please feel free to use these for non commercial purpose.











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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

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Some people reach the age of sixty before others.
Lord Hood

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One starts to get young at the age of sixty
and then it is too late.
Pablo Picasso

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
Winston Churchill

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Age Jokes One Liners

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
Billy Crystal

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Rodney Dangerfield

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In dog years, I'm dead.

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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns

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Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny

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Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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Age Jokes One Liners

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
George Burns

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Moe!My wife got me to believe in religion.
Joe: Really?
Moe:Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.

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Men are just like chocolates
Us girls know that is true
Found in bars they don't last long
Enough to satisfy you
And on that thought
Happy Birthday

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Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Maurice Chevalier

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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me,
Just don't have any film.

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Never be too open-minded your brains may fall out.

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