Cute Funny Quotes

This Cute Funny Quotes web page is a collection of humorous material in the form of quotes from celebrities, sayings authored by the best writer of all time Mr/Mrs Author Unknown and truisms, proverbs, messages, phrases and sayings which are funny definitely but some are cute some are most definitely sarcastic particularly we've noticed when they're by women about men.

There are many links below to choose from
here is just a short sample.



A husband had just finished reading a new book
entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced,
"From now on, you need to know that I am the man of
this house and my word is Law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when
I'm done eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious
dessert.. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with
me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feetand hands.
Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me
and comb my hair?"

The wife replied,
"The funeral director would be my first guess.."



Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.



Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,He or she
can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes= one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.


Here are the categories we have

Short Funny Quotes

Funny Short Sayings

Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings

Short Funny Poems

Funny One Liners

Free Funny Voice Mail Messages

Funny Bumper Sticker Sayings

Funny Love Poems

Cute Funny Quotes

Funny T Shirt Sayings

Hilarious Quotes

Cute Funny Quotes

Funny Tombstone Sayings

Alcohol Funnies

Headstone Sayings(Funny and Heartfelt)

Funny Redneck Sayings

All of our Funny messages, phrases, sayings, quotes are provided for your free non commercial use for whatever you have in mind, perhaps to write in a greetings card or text message, gift tag perhaps or a slogan on Facebook or Myspace. They have no intention of offending anyone and apologies in advance if this is the case!

Big Sister Poems

Little Sister Poems

Do You Have A Great Story/Poem About This Topic?

Do you have a great story/poem about this? Where would we be without them, every single one plays a part-small or large, and evryone has a story. Would you like to share yours?



You are most welcome to visit
We love seeing you;
We hope that you are happy
And that we can help you.

Our verses are for all
So please peruse and see our best;
We offer our invitation to you
So sit back and look and we'll do the rest.


These poems,verses and quotes
Are a mixture of everything you see;
They come from down through the ages
And the likes of you and me.

There is not a lot new under the sun
Or that's how that quote is known;
So we hope that our words help you resonate
And that you know that you're not on your own.



You're Invited To Share With Us

We'd love to hear from you,
For example what prompted you to visit this website?
Did you find anything suitable?
Have you written any material yourself you'd like to share with others?

On most pages throughout this website there is a facility for you to submit your own material and we'd love to hear from you.