Free Funny Voice Mail Messages

Welcome to the Free Funny Voice Mail Messages web page where we hope you will find some of the funniest, bizarre and amusing messages from around the world. They are mostly from authors unknown but boy do we thank all of them for these laughs!

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I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now I'm afraid I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd love it if you could help me now by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

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This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. **

You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean all they need to leave is "we aren't in, leave a message" That's why I've decided to keep mine short and simple. I pledge to you my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me!

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I'm out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in I'll call you back. Leave me a message.

Nicole, NJ

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Bob's voicemail is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Bob

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We are presently screening our calls. If you're calling to see if anyone is home so you can rob us while we are away? Please let us introduce you to our dear friends Smith & Wesson and our lovely pit bull Killer. Everyone else please leave your name and number and we will return your call asap if we feel like it.

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This is you know who. We are you know where. Leave your you know what and we will answer your you know what you know when.

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I haven't been able to find my way home so if you see me out and about-talk to me then!

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Free Funny Voice Mail Messages

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