Funny 60th birthday Messages Quotes

Welcome to the Funny 60th Birthday Messages Quotes webpage bringing you the clues to feel the new forty. These one liners and funnies are for your FREE use for non commercial purpose. Have a Happy Birthday!


Funny 60th Birthday Messages Quotes

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Age is strictly mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny

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There may be many wrinkles
that can't be ironed out.
but every one's a story
of that there is no doubt.
So on this milestone birthday
just think about the pluses,
lots of pension discounts
not forgetting free travel on the buses.
So welcome to the 60's
my friend it's not so bad
It has it's compensations
of which you will be glad.
So Happy 60th Birthday & have a great day
doing what you do best in your own special way.
Margmax

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No woman should ever be accurate with her age. It looks so calculating.
Oscar Wilde

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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns.

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Funny 60th birthday Messages Quotes

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Time is Gods way of keeping everything from happening at once.
James Brown

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Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
Mark Twain

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There are three ages of man-youth,age, and you're looking wonderful.
Cardinal Francis Spelling

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They say that it's your birthday, let's call in the press,
You're another year older but who'd ever guess,
Gather your friends from far and wide
To turn the clock to 60 with them by your side.

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Funny 60th birthday Messages Quotes

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Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...these are the perks of reaching 60, 70, 80 and heading towards 90 and older!

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1.Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first

3.No one expects you to run----anywhere

4.People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

5.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6.There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7.Things you buy now won't wear out...

8.You can eat supper at 4pm.

9.You can live without sex but not without glasses

10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans

11.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12.You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13.You sing along with elevator music.

14.Your eyes won't get much worse.

15.Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17.Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19.You can't remember who told you this list

and last but not least

20.Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill & a laxative on the same night.

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