Funny Life Quotes

Welcome to the Webpage that hosts Funny Life Quotes, phrases and one liners for your amusement and inspiration. They sometimes will help you say the words and express the feelings that you just haven't found yet.They are FREE for you to use for non-commercial purpose.











Funny Life Quotes

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Remember, once you're over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed

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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

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Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian,
Anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.

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Busy as a one armed paper hanger
Charlie Cox

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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me,
Just don't have any film.

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Junk is something that you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

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Never be too open-minded your brains may fall out.

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If it weren't for stress
I'd have no energy at all.

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I always know that God won't give me more than I can handle. There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

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Funny Life Quotes

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Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

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I have unlimited choices about what I think.
I choose balance, harmony and peace and I express it in my life.

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Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

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Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
Truman Capote

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No man is sane who does not know how to be
insane on proper occasions.
Henry Ward Beecher

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It is difficult to see the picture
when you are inside of the frame.

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I don't know the key to success,
but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

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A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation
with the bricks others have thrown at him.
David Brinkley

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If you think you are too small to make a difference,
try sleeping with a mosquito.
The Dalai Lama

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Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

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In life, as in football, you won’t go far
unless you know where the goalposts are.
Arnold H.

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Funny Life Quotes

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The wishbone will never replace the backbone.
Will Henry

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Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner
Then you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen

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The planet is fine-
It's the people that are fucked!
George Carlin

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God does not play dice
Albert Einstein

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