Life can start again at 50

by Marg Max
(UK)

Hey, all you girls 50 plus who feel life has passed you by, I am here to tell you that your life can be starting over at age 50; you just have to make it happen.
When my 27 year marriage broke up very acrimoniously I was 50 years old. I went from a middle class existence of designer clothes to wearing my friends cast offs. I didn’t know if I would have a roof over my head as the family home had been re-mortgaged to put into my husband’s business and he stopped paying everything.
I had years on anti-depressants and many court cases as my ex would give me nothing and a huge amount of money was spent on solicitors and barristers. At one point I was so penniless that I was forced to represent myself in court (and actually achieved a better result). What got me through this was my anger and determination that he was not going to win.
At the time of the separation I worked in my ex’s office often running it single-handedly when he was away on business. Fortunately for me a second sense had made me cling onto my paid job which I did two days per week and this was what I had to live on. I dare not get into debt as I knew I would get into a big hole which I would not be able to climb out of. So I did without. Lived on egg and chips, beans on toast etc.
At this time my cousin ran a bar and having recognised that I was in a desperate state she tempted me to do a couple of nights persuading me out of the house with promise of payment. This was the key I needed- money. So I went to work in a bar which was a bit of a dive but I met people and as I had lost loads of weight through stress I was very trim and suddenly found attention was being paid to me by the opposite sex young and old.
My niece answered an advert in the dating column of a local paper pretending to be me and the guy rang me up. I cautiously agreed to meet him in town for a coffee. This was my first date. Luckily for me he was an OK guy. His wife had left him for a younger bloke who she had married which was a bit similar to my situation as although I had chucked my ex out for having an affair after a couple of months she left her husband and they starting living together; she was also 16 years his junior. Eventually a child arrived which he accepted as his and that was the difficulty for me as courts always put children first.
Anyway I had a few dates with this guy but realized he still hankered after his ex and they met regularly. I couldn’t take anyone’s baggage on board at this point; I had enough of my own so that one fizzled out. Meanwhile at the pub I was still receiving attention and began to make friends - just people to chat to; the pub became my social life. I felt safe because if anyone asked me out my cousin knew them and would tell me if they were married etc.

One of the people who chatted to me was a young guy of 30 who was quite shy but always made an effort to talk to me. I knew he was attracted to me and I thought what the heck have a bit of fun - that bit of fun lasted 2 years. In this time he was extremely generous paid for holidays, outings and guess what girls I ended it, not him. Why? Well, he was a bit unreliable and I knew it was not for ever.
During this time my cousin gave up the bar and it was taken over by a young woman and her partner who was an entertainer - well, girls, that little dive bar turned into a bar where people would flock, especially on a Friday night when it took 5 bar maids to keep the punters served. I became head barmaid and for a time it was also a B&B. I stood in for the owner when she was away. I loved it. I also changed my day job for a job 3 days per week so I was working some hours with both jobs.
I was going out now and again, had a friendship with the guy who looked after my car and then, through a friend I met a fella who swept me off my feet for awhile. Wanted to marry me, bought me a ring, took me on holiday - sounds good - no - I began to realize he wanted a replacement for his wife, who had died. Wanted to put me into his home, his ways - not this girl I had come on a long way to independence in the time on my own so that one ended.
But BOY am I happy now In my personal life I have now been with Jon 10 years but we did not live together completely until one year ago - why? because I could not commit. I could not put my trust in anyone again but luckily for me Jon is an intelligent guy and realizes this so he rented out his home and moved into mine.

Moral of this tale - you can have another life at 50+ I did both in my career and in my relationships.