Retirement Sentiments
Retirement Sentiments is the place for sayings and messages about the art of retirement after a long life of being told what to do by your boss only to get a new life of being told what to do by the wife
** Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it. ** The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. ** A retired husband is a wife's full time job! **
It has been said that there is no fool like an old fool, except a young fool. But the young fool has first to grow up to be an old fool to realize what a damn fool he was when he was a young fool. **
A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em to get a life. **
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. **
Retirement Sentiments ** Newspaper article.....
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.
My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie. When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get in.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Retirement Sentiments
Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch 'Match of the Day', but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one forherself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
Retirement Sentiments
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 24-inch Stanleyscrewdriver rammed up his rectum with only 2 inches showing.
His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.
REASON FOR RETIRING-I'M KNACKERED
Why I’m Knackered I’m Tired!!
Yes, I’m knackered because I’m overworked,
The population of this country is 61 million.
26 million are retired.
Retirement Sentiments
That leaves 35 million to do the work.
There are 24 million at school and college.
That leaves 11 million to do the work.
2 million are unemployed and 4 million are employed by the government to look after us. That leaves 5 million to do the work.
1 million are in the armed forces, which leaves 4 million to do the work.
3 million are employed by county borough councils to help the government look after us.
That leaves 1 million to do the work
There are 620,000 people in hospitals and 379,998 in prisons.
YOU AND ME
And you’re sitting on your arse reading this
NO WONDER I’M BLOODY KNACKERED!!
figures may be a bit out of date but the same principle still applies
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